Expectations Shattered by Reality

That picture was taken almost ten years ago.  I was making lunch before heading to my sister's graduation from nursing school.  It was before my body had been stretched by four kids. A time when I was able to sleep 8 hours (or more) every night.  When I could spend two hours leisurely getting ready in the morning before starting my day.  When I had the extra money to buy new clothes and shoes when I wanted to.  This is who I thought I would be as a housewife.  Full of energy, dressed well, hair fixed, and ready to conquer the world.     

That's not the housewife I ended up being.  I believe, and my husband agrees, I am better.  But not because of the ways I envisioned or anything I did on my own.  I'm better because of how all my experiences, good and bad, have changed me. The patience I've practiced by having children.  The forgiveness and grace I've given, and received, in my marriage. The joy I've felt, even while living in a two bedroom apartment, barely scraping by with four kids. The humbling moments of motherhood where I would find myself crying in the shower, just wanting ten minutes to myself. Lying in bed wondering if any other mothers felt as lonely as I did, while surrounded by little people 24/7.  

Now my days in the kitchen look more like this.

And I'm so thankful!  My life is not glamourous.  My uniform is oversized shirts, sweatpants, and my hair up.  If you stop by my house, more than likely you'll find bags under my eyes and a coffee in my hand.  It's not what I had in mind 10 years ago, it's so much harder and so much better.