Dear Newlywed Me,
It's almost 10 years down the road... I know, I can't believe it either! Right now you're having the time of your life, you can't imagine it getting any better. A loving, attentive husband. A perfect, precious baby boy. Why on earth would people say marriage is hard? It's a piece of cake, and you're loving every minute of it. Regular date nights. A husband who is off work every day at 5pm, which means lots of family time.
But before you know it, two baby girls will join your family before your oldest is three. Your love for them will be just as fierce and powerful as the love you had for your firstborn. However, now there is less time for date nights. Really less time for everything. Steve is going to get a promotion. Which will be great for your growing family, but that means lots of overtime and being on call. Juggling three babies under three is hard. Despite Steve doing everything he can to help.
You know you were born to be a mother, so you will throw yourself full on into raising all those little ones. Even if that means neglecting your husband. You won't understand why he puts you first. You think the kids should come before everything. During this time you also will struggle with God, and everything you thought you believed. I promise you, it's all for a good reason. You will realize that you didn't really have a personal relationship with God. Thankfully you married one of the most patient men on earth. He will be by your side, loving you through it all. Life will still be good, but you don't realize how much fuller it can be.
When you finally surrender to Jesus you pull out of that slump. You know God matched you two perfectly together. Who else would have put up with almost 3 straight years of a woman pregnant and questioning religion... All while being an amazing husband and completely hands on father. He seriously deserves Saint status!
You'll go on to add a curly blonde baby boy to the family. Your wish of two boys and two girls will come true. Even though everyone will think y'all have lost your minds, you & Steve will decide to have more kids. I promise you, your not crazy! This time is different though. After four perfect pregnancies, you will lose the baby, and have three surgeries with in six months. It will be the hardest thing you've ever went through. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Opening up and leaning on each other and Jesus, will be what gets you through.
It's hard to imagine, but despite all the hardships and loss, your marriage will only get better. You'll fall more in love. It's a different kind of love though. Not the giddy feeling you get in the beginning, but a deeper love that only will come from the years spent together. The journey and things you learn along the way only make it better. There are a few things I wished you learned sooner though...
1. Listen to Steve when he says marriage comes before kids. It doesn't mean you have to neglect them. You're honestly loving them more by showing them what true love and marriage should look like.
2. Even though it's only twice in 10 years, don't let Steve shave his beard. Yes, you will actually prefer a guy with facial hair.
3. Start your once a month dates sooner. I promise you'll thank me and feel so much closer.
4. Don't ever take him for granted. Not every man will or can build everything you pin on Pinterest.
5. Surrender to Jesus. It will be the step that transforms your marriage and family.
Don't listen to the world that tells you to give up when things get hard. The sweetest part of marriage comes from getting through the tough stuff together. I promise you, you will be blown away by how much deeper your love will be in 10 years. And it's only getting better.
Your Future Self